Vaccuum

Without you,

There is a place,

A warm lonely place,

That remains empty,

Somewhere,

I don’t know where,

I feel it, it’s there,

Like a gasp,
That leaves a vaccuum in the chest,

Since you left,

I wait for you,

To catch my breath again.

Mirror, Mirror...

So, you are not a reflection of me.

You are a person in a different body.

I know you inside out.

And that is why I have my doubt.

You see, what I say to you,

Your reply, I have already thought it through.

And in your head too, there are multiple iterations,

Well before we find ourselves in the situation.

It is a dangerous game we play,

But only if you met me half way.

When I can love you,

I can start loving me too.

Is that a smirk I see?

I know you have being studying me.

In all its abnormality,

You are my present, You are my reality.

So, My Dear Mirror Mirror on the wall,

How crazy are you and me,

If at all?

What is love?

“Love is a complicated feeling and everyone loves in their own way. But I do think I got this much right – if you do not feel that putting a smile on their face is a good enough reason to do anything for your partner, I wouldn't say that you are not in love then, but you definitely have not experienced the best part about it.”

LOVE. I think we are just scared of this word.  Like we are scared of words like commitment and compromise. Language or speech can sometimes, and actually quite rarely, be a deterrent in expressing human emotions. I think I know why. When you tell someone you love them, you are extending your feelings beyond yourself. You are putting yourselves out there. You are making yourselves vulnerable.

When someone becomes so much a part of your being that there is no question of liking or disliking things about them anymore, because they become you and you, them.  When you fight with no prejudice or fear, just like you do with yourself, because you fight for clarity and not judgement. When you don’t worry who’s got your back, because you know they have and you have theirs – invariably and without fail. And when they make mistakes, and this is the tough part, you feel betrayed and yet in your heart you forgive them and give them a chance to make amends. When love doesn't have to be spelled, it just shows. And finally, this one comes with time, and not easily, When there is no doubt whatsoever, and no confusion, and no second thoughts.When you just know.

And no, its never a check list. It does not have one right definition. And like someone said to me, in what seems like a different life now, Everyone loves in their own way. 

A note to self - Part 1

Unless it is a life or death kind of a situation, there is no ‘real’ dilemma in life. As long as you know that there is a fair amount of foreseeable healthy life left in you, it’s all about the choices you make - hope versus despair, mind versus matter, logic versus instinct. It’s about the fact that most times you are so scared to remain stuck in your present and so uncertain about your future that you would rather go back into the past and try and find things that you could probably fix. What you forget is that the past is gone and that it’s never coming back. So the only chance that you have for a life is to let go and look forward into the future. And have faith. And live the life left in you. Because at the end of the day, the goal is not to lead an easy life, but that which is worth living.

Gum

Ab waapis mat bula ke is baar ghaav gehra hai,

Dard hai aur ye dard is baar thehra hai.

Badi mushkil se hosh sambhla hai aaj par,

Pukar ke mera naam, mujhe behisaab na kar.

Ab waapis mat bula ke is baar nahi aayenge,

Gumnami main hi kahin gum ho jayenge.