Tuesday, September 25, 2007
For the better and for good..
I am not this sociable person that you meet all the time. I am one of the standoffish types that you would hardly want to meet and if you should know, I am not particularly proud of this. But once you know me or so they say, I am not that bad. Well, I couldn’t care less about that one either. It’s not like I abhor mankind. Maybe, it’s like there are a few people who I care about so much that I could give a rat’s ass about the others. Oh, but there are people I admire- for their guts, for their simplicity, for their attitude, for their ambitions and more. And there are people I marvel at- for being liars, backstabbers, connivers, hypocrites and even more. I prefer to be a silent observer. Not while someone’s firing at me though.
Anyways so, I am not that friendly. Period. Now today, while I was my usual self, something happened. After giving a tiring presentation, I was getting my things together to leave the class. I needed to plug out my laptop charger from a multi-point socket. I switched the common switch off and this lady in my class flipped. She says “you don’t just do that man! I had no battery and now that you switched it off my laptop is gone.” So I had a dream last night that her laptop was on the verge of a battery showdown and the very moment I would switch off the power would spell apocalypse for it. No I did not. And No I did not tell this to her either. All I did was collect my laptop with my trap shut and walked out. This is something I normally don’t do- You know; listen to BS without giving it back. Then, I was thinking all the time, for sometime, why I did not do what I did not do?
I don’t know. I have nothing against her or the likes of her. I simply don’t care enough. I would probably smile the next time I see her. Because I guess for once I wasn’t mean. And well, I got something to write in my blog :)Anyways,The whole point is that, I guess you learn to comfort yourself in ways that you could never think of.
It’s like when you do something that you normally do- you brush it aside by saying that Hey! That’s how I am! Can’t help it! And then when you don’t do something that you normally tend to do, and you surprise yourself, you say things like I said- you know, atleast for once I didn’t do that! Which means this was the one time I was like that. Next time, It’s me you’ll see.
But maybe, sometimes, and this happens rarely, you do change for the better and for good.
Anyways so, I am not that friendly. Period. Now today, while I was my usual self, something happened. After giving a tiring presentation, I was getting my things together to leave the class. I needed to plug out my laptop charger from a multi-point socket. I switched the common switch off and this lady in my class flipped. She says “you don’t just do that man! I had no battery and now that you switched it off my laptop is gone.” So I had a dream last night that her laptop was on the verge of a battery showdown and the very moment I would switch off the power would spell apocalypse for it. No I did not. And No I did not tell this to her either. All I did was collect my laptop with my trap shut and walked out. This is something I normally don’t do- You know; listen to BS without giving it back. Then, I was thinking all the time, for sometime, why I did not do what I did not do?
I don’t know. I have nothing against her or the likes of her. I simply don’t care enough. I would probably smile the next time I see her. Because I guess for once I wasn’t mean. And well, I got something to write in my blog :)Anyways,The whole point is that, I guess you learn to comfort yourself in ways that you could never think of.
It’s like when you do something that you normally do- you brush it aside by saying that Hey! That’s how I am! Can’t help it! And then when you don’t do something that you normally tend to do, and you surprise yourself, you say things like I said- you know, atleast for once I didn’t do that! Which means this was the one time I was like that. Next time, It’s me you’ll see.
But maybe, sometimes, and this happens rarely, you do change for the better and for good.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
To be or not to be.
Sometime back I asked someone if being impulsive was a good thing. He had apparently said yes and no and I kind of know what he meant. You know, he was just being polite by saying so. He actually said ‘DUhh’ in his head. And it was a dumb question anyways. You know it’s like when you act a particular way and you know that you do, you try and validate whether it’s the right thing to do. Guess I should replace the ‘you’s with ‘I’s? Anyways so I am impulsive. In certain ways. And I like it like that.
However, there can be dire consequences associated with being impulsive. See, I could use ‘thoughtless’ instead of impulsive which may be the right thing to do. And when I am not thinking, I might do things that may not seem wrong at that point in time, but may actually be wrong for/to someone. So, the thing is that I have been thinking about the not so great part of being impulsive lately and I have actually started to think, umm… a lot before acting. Now I am like, I am sure there is nothing absolutely magnificent about being impulsive anyway! Thinking about something for hours at length and getting a massive headache and a bomb ticking away centrally in your forehead is a feeling nothing can surpass. Trust me!! It is loads of fun. Yawn.
This Book ‘Blink’ by Malcolm Gladwell caught my eye recently. I have just started to read it so I cannot critically glorify or tarnish it. It talks of those moments when we ‘know’ something in the blink of an eye without really knowing why. He talks of how one could read seemingly complex situations in a matter of a few seconds. Sounds interesting. I have those moments all the time except that I miserably fail to decode those complex situations.
Well, the impulsive part of me still lives and shall resurface; I am sure, in no time. And I have NO clue whatsoever whether that’s great or pathetic. But I would certainly try to balance both. You know eating the dark lord and playing hide and seek. No you fool! Both- being decisive and impulsive. Anyways, but I’d really like to be able to quit my job someday and go backpacking on the Alps with people who like me and listen to me. Okay, the last part was way overboard. That’s like asking God to step down and crown me the king of the world.
I know this post is getting way too creepy and mindless and full of shit. But Hey! This is MY blog. I write what I want to!
This is so much fun :) We should do this more often.
However, there can be dire consequences associated with being impulsive. See, I could use ‘thoughtless’ instead of impulsive which may be the right thing to do. And when I am not thinking, I might do things that may not seem wrong at that point in time, but may actually be wrong for/to someone. So, the thing is that I have been thinking about the not so great part of being impulsive lately and I have actually started to think, umm… a lot before acting. Now I am like, I am sure there is nothing absolutely magnificent about being impulsive anyway! Thinking about something for hours at length and getting a massive headache and a bomb ticking away centrally in your forehead is a feeling nothing can surpass. Trust me!! It is loads of fun. Yawn.
This Book ‘Blink’ by Malcolm Gladwell caught my eye recently. I have just started to read it so I cannot critically glorify or tarnish it. It talks of those moments when we ‘know’ something in the blink of an eye without really knowing why. He talks of how one could read seemingly complex situations in a matter of a few seconds. Sounds interesting. I have those moments all the time except that I miserably fail to decode those complex situations.
Well, the impulsive part of me still lives and shall resurface; I am sure, in no time. And I have NO clue whatsoever whether that’s great or pathetic. But I would certainly try to balance both. You know eating the dark lord and playing hide and seek. No you fool! Both- being decisive and impulsive. Anyways, but I’d really like to be able to quit my job someday and go backpacking on the Alps with people who like me and listen to me. Okay, the last part was way overboard. That’s like asking God to step down and crown me the king of the world.
I know this post is getting way too creepy and mindless and full of shit. But Hey! This is MY blog. I write what I want to!
This is so much fun :) We should do this more often.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Forever starts now..
The pain is lasting.
And now you realize it.
Shut your mind, slay your soul,
and you run away.
Do you hear the jarring of thoughts?
Or the far cry of your soul?
No wonder the faith lost you.
The tear in your eye shall take leave too.
As mutely as the smile did.
Lest you know the end is near.
And that forever starts now!
A stone wears but it can't feel.
The darkness haunts.
Memories break.
Hurt bothers.
Helplessness vexes.
Or does it?
Wonder of all wonders.
You live a life being yourself.
A candle in the murk, you blew it merrily.
A hand of trust, you twisted it brutally.
I took you to fly high; you pushed me all the way down.
I fought to drive your blues away; you always juggled to make me fear.
Explanations I never sought. Never would.
Amazed, I'll always be.
You are so lost now.
Is there a way out of the dreary dungeons you ask?
The answers you seek are yours alone.
Hope that you triumph will be mine. I promise.
Like you, even I would wish.
The end was not near.
And that forever did not start now!
And now you realize it.
Shut your mind, slay your soul,
and you run away.
Do you hear the jarring of thoughts?
Or the far cry of your soul?
No wonder the faith lost you.
The tear in your eye shall take leave too.
As mutely as the smile did.
Lest you know the end is near.
And that forever starts now!
A stone wears but it can't feel.
The darkness haunts.
Memories break.
Hurt bothers.
Helplessness vexes.
Or does it?
Wonder of all wonders.
You live a life being yourself.
A candle in the murk, you blew it merrily.
A hand of trust, you twisted it brutally.
I took you to fly high; you pushed me all the way down.
I fought to drive your blues away; you always juggled to make me fear.
Explanations I never sought. Never would.
Amazed, I'll always be.
You are so lost now.
Is there a way out of the dreary dungeons you ask?
The answers you seek are yours alone.
Hope that you triumph will be mine. I promise.
Like you, even I would wish.
The end was not near.
And that forever did not start now!
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Do you hear the call ?
Politics
Music
Animals
Photography
Baseball
Cooking
Comics
Nation
Porn
Football
Poetry
Numbers
Children
Karate
Fashion
Wildlife
Travel
Gadgets
Boyfriends
Videogames
History
Depression
Christianity
Family
Astronomy
Books
Business
America
Money
As random as they have been listed, more varied, and less unanticipated they are. People call it their passion, obsession or more simply love or like. The list above shows the themes on which blogs on blogspot are based on. They have been listed in the order they appeared when I clicked ‘next blog’ after mine.
Are you passionate about something? Does something make you feel like you can go through the rest of your life doing it, exploring it, being with it or talking/writing about it and loving it? Have you found the calling in your life?
Unfortunately, we are not born photographers, politicians or psychopaths. It would have been much easier that way. It would have made sense to say loud and clear that “I was born to do this!” But since that is not the case, we want to go and look out for the reason for our existence. To put it in other words, “make this life worth living”. Some of us do find a reason. Some of us keep looking. Some of us give up. Some of us don’t have a choice.
As for me, it may sound a bit like romantisizing with the idea- I am still to find my true calling in life. And it might well take that long before I find it but I will not stop looking.
"
Things get in the way
Rush of every day
Ordinary stuff we all get into
Wouldn’t it be sad
If all you ever had
Was a granite epitaph that said I meant to
"
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