Utopia?

"I'm afraid I love you so much I could stop breathing. And mostly I am afraid if anything was to ever happen to you or us, my heart would stop beating. I mean it."

Of limbs and you.

"So many retakes,

 So many heartaches,

 And yet I long for you - my soulmate.

 The source of all my tensions and headaches,

 I’d still give a limb to see you wake.

 So tell me what it takes…" 

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 A limb won’t do,

 I need all of you.

 Just hold my hand and stay,

 Every morning, night and day.

 Because I’d rather go mad with you,

 Than be mad without you,

 To love and to suffer,

 Each other.
 To want one,

 In all the virtues and vices that they make,

 Maybe, that’s really all that it takes…

Aar Ya Paar

Chal aaj kuch khaas karte hain,

Na meri baat, Na teri baat rakhte hain.

Jodna bahot hua, 

Aaj kuch dil tod ke dekhte hain.

Pyaar mohaabat to theek hai,

Aaj kuch dushmani karke dekhte hain.

Saath chalna ho gaya bus,

Aaj kuch bichad kar dekhte hain.

Bahot ho gaya aansoo bahana,

Aaj kuch dukh dena seekhte hain.

Mere yaar aaj kuch khaas karte hain,

Chal aaj Aar Ya Paar karte hain.

The big fat lie

So he finally knew the answer. In fact the only way out. He was brilliant to have thought of it. It was the only way he could save himself. It was not redemption. It was cheating himself into it. But again, he had no choice. He had lied. The big fat lie. With the straightest face he had in himself. With the most nonchalant honesty he could feign. But he couldn't live with it. He would never be at peace. And he did not have the courage to come clean because it would mess up the one good thing that happened to him in life. He couldn't live with her shattered expression for the rest of his life. He was selfish. A selfish coward. So he took the option. Yes it pinched his morals a wee bit. But it was worth it. He created other reasons. So she would leave on her own. Reasons completely different from that one lie. He would fool himself into believing she had other reasons. And he would brilliantly escape the guilt. Like with all genius plots this one had a major flaw too. He was now lying to himself. And its a lie that's caught not once and not twice in your head but every single waking moment of your life. The big fat lie would have passed the baton.

OR so she thought. 
She had a vivid imagination, almost to the extent of being dangerous. Life is fucked up. She was a little more fucked up than that.

Just Because.

I will not say to you,

what needs to be said.

I will not belittle it,

with a clichéd whack job of some words,

spewed out like an unapologetic stamp,

of one’s feelings on another.

I will not betray it,

with the false security

of expectations.

I am not confused.

I am not out of words.

I just don’t know what to say or how.

Because what I want to say to you, has not been said before.