My Satan.

And then it occurred,
as the tubelight flickered,
In a moment of pseudo-madness,
I finally decided, I guess.

A thundering cloud perhaps,
did not like my stopgaps,
A feeling crept,
the decision was probably just windswept.

There's a war in my head,
Never ends. At work or in my bed.
Use it or soon I'll lose it,
The wit, lest again I flit.

If I run away,
The ruling still sways,
If I close the door,
the argument drags more.

There's a choice I need to make.
No one gets the sweepstakes.
One or two?
You or who??

Final roll call,
It's rise or fall.
I close my eyes,
and throw the dice.

No, wait.
I think I'll use it
The wit.
Promise I won't flit.

I know my choice.
I hear his voice.
Singing our song.
Boring, happy and long.

He is my Satan, like I am his.
The war ends - what a relief it is.
We take it all,
Together we rise or we fall.

This fleeting..

I looked everywhere, In and around
Did everything, nowhere to be found.
I ran after it, it ran away
Cried for it, every night and day.
I lost sleep over it, it did not relent.
The more I lamented, the farther it went.

Bruised in my element, faith fell apart,
Shallow in my head, a hole in my heart.
I gave up and I surrendered,
Did not find it, never will - I feared.
I let destiny hold my reluctant hand,
Doubts subsided, Now I understand.

Honest to myself, Honest to my thought,
My battle is mine alone to be fought
The path ahead left me lost and confused,
In love, I found my peace, my refuge.
A new chapter begins, as the old curtains close.
Today makes sense because its you I chose.

Sunshine made its way through the crack,
The sparkle in my eye is flashing back
Not sure yet if I found the fugitive,
No more chasing it, never was my captive
More I think about you, I care about it less,
Anyhow its such a fleeting thing, this happiness.

The silly little whim

How many of you will crash and burn?
And when, when really do I learn?
Numbness is catching up fast my friend,
I think you and I share the same fate.

Why do I let go?
I don’t.
They snatch you from me.
I am helpless, in every way.

I'd apologise if it mattered,
but I know it doesn't change a thing.
With you, I die too,
My soul shallows further.

Till we shall be one.
My desire, My wish, My silly little whim.
You R.I.P.

Something less ordinary.

We ignore the ordinary. We despise the usual. And the "same old-same old" would bore us to death one day.

And so we crave for that which is not ordinary or usual or the same-old. Makes sense. We miss the thrill, you know. The rush of blood. Adrenaline.

As a kid, I always wondered 'how to' when anyone would tell me to do something from the heart. You can, to an extent, control your mind, but how do you converse with your heart, really?

Why at times, do we say that our heart and our mind are saying two different things? As far as I know only the brain (the mind) does the thinking for us. The heart, in reality, has a different function altogether. But it is related. Its where the rush of blood comes from. The beat of which drowns out the sane voices in the head. The impulse that defies logic.

So now that we have the scientific clearance, lets get down to the topic itself.

Is it just about getting those great things in life? NO. I would think its more about how you get them. Anything easily attained becomes less valuable and more ordinary. If I got a raise every single month, without having to work or for that matter crib for it, would it make me happy? But if I worked like crazy for the entire year and it paid off in the end with a kickass bonus, I would know the value of it. I know this real-life example actually spoiled the meadowy-world that I was bringing you to. Okay another try- If tons of smokin' hot (or demure/mysterious girls- hey! Whatever you want, man!) asked you out every single day- well,I know you are thinking- no drooling already..but after sometime, like George Clooney you'd just go 'Meh!' my friend. Unless someone who doesnt bother to give you a second glance comes along.

My guess is that a part of it comes from the 'want-what-you-cant-get' or 'want-what-you-cant-easily-get' syndrome. Which brings me to the "Twilight" bit. A sexy vampire and a werewolf with 'the' perfect body can go to all lengths for the love of an ordinary girl- not so ordinary for them. Apart from the fact that I am in love with Robert Pattinson (At the risk of sounding like a 13 year old, I hate to confess that I want to aaaaa and eeeeeee everytime I see him), the thing that clicked for me and the millions of fans out there was this "forbidden yet unrelenting" love chemistry, I guess and ofcourse the supernaturality of it all. We all know vampires dont exist (Damn!) but what the hell! we can wonder what if...right? :P

I think it is very important to seek and experience that rush in life. Ofcourse you need to balance it out with a good dose of sense from your mind.

Its like how I define a movie. Many of us say they are just fiction. Well, so many unbelievable things happen around us in real life. Movies are just extraordinary and at most times over-exagerrated tales and yes the back ground music contributes a lot to it. I don't want the "Quentin Tarantino" blood-shed, but I'd love the Edward-Bellaesque romance, with some awesome background score thrown in.

I cant have it all but who says I cant want it? Something less ordinary.

Office graffiti

(c) SniGoons